Wednesday, September 14, 2011


             For a person obsessed with spellings, the innumerable hoardings and sign boards across Indian cities is indeed a treat to the bemused eyes. Over the years, a plethora of these 'MISSPELT' words and phrases are like bees in my bonnet, constantly buzzing!

              One word so very grossly 'misspelt' and sure to make a glorious etch in the Guiness book of world records  is 'PUNCTURE' - it is a miracle that I am still writing it correctly without any aberration, after all the myriad ways it has been spelt . And now did you know that a tyre repair shop has 'pancreas' repair facility, if only our organs could so easily be fixed!

               A tailor shop located near my house made me to boldly venture in to get a blouse stitched. All the formalities done away with , the lady asked me to come and collect it after a week. On the day of reckoning, my husband also joined me on my walk to the tailor shop, while he waited outside the shop,I eagerly went to collect the piece. After a few minutes, when I came out, my husband had a bewitched look on his face and he navigated me from head to toe and exclaimed "oh! no black eyes and still in one piece ah?"On my questioning look, he pointed to the board kept outside the shop which read like this"BLOWS TRADED" and  now you know why!!!
               Another sign outside a condiments shop went this way"CODEMENTS SHOP"- no prizes for guessing what different codes he sells!

               Two ladies were talking non stop at the top of their voices in an autorickshaw and all attempts by the driver to silence their banter fell on deaf ears until he pointed to an advertisement on a passing bus,painted in bright red colour ,"" and this time he succeeded!

                 My son's first Hindi lessons started with a bang. On one occasion he had a test wherein pictures of articles were printed and he was asked to write the word in Hindi. One such picture was the human leg , he simply filled in the the letters  L and G in Hindi to read as 'LG' and little wonder his Hindi lessons ended in a whimper!

                  The never ending relationship that a real estate agent establishes with his client is clearly exhibited on his name plate"DREAMS RELATOR" .
                    If instead of qualified teachers conducting classes, some touts are arranged then the pamphlet circulated  will read as "HOME TOUTOR" available for teaching English!

                    In order to satiate a voracious appetite, you can head towards the 5 star "RESTORRENT" for appeasing your hunger- Iam sure there will be a torrent of food as well as the bill! 
                     The inappropriate punctuation marks are also a matter of grave concern like this name plate in front of a bakery- Iam sure the cookies and pastries will have to be pushed inside from the wrong end, as the board says "ANUS BAKERY"! Such consumers are called "END USERS"!

                      There was this warning notice put up by the traffic police in the ghat section which said 'DANGRUS place- it is strictly WORNED not to BE TRESSPASS FROM this place'- spot  all the errors and the winner takes them all!
                       While multitude of Indian children, with their flawless and impeccable spellings, excel in competitions the world over, making the nation proud, this is the other end of the spectrum where the petty shop owners try to match shoulder to shoulder with these stupendous spellings!
                         The BRITISH have long left us but these blooming blunders in the name and sign boards are a commemoration  which  stand as testimony to what they forced upon us!

                         As I stand mesmerized by these captivating words and phrases, please "FALLOW" me on a word hunting spree across cities ,towns and villages and not gaze  and admire  the enchanting sunflower fields!!!